May 21st 2011 while the rest of you were probably carrying on with your everyday lives, I was curled up in my bed with my tin alloy mind shield tightly secured to my head awaiting the end of the world. As the my cell phone's clock slowly ticked closer to the dreaded 6:00 pm EST, I thought of all the good things that I had experienced in my 22 years on planet Earth and wondered what the inevitable oblivion would be like. 6:00 pm EST came and went and the Earth continued turning....
Sitting there in the dark slowly removing the pie tin that had protected my brain, I wondered what could have prevented the rapture. Then it occurred to me only the day before Randy Savage, better know as Macho Man passed away in from a heart attack. Macho Man must have been transported to heaven and single-handedly prevented the rapture, and for that I'm eternally grateful.
So take a moment this Memorial Day and remember the men and women who have laid down their lives to protect this great nation, especially the American hero, Macho Man and snap into a Slim Jim.
Lt. Dan*
*product contains alcohol
Artistic rendition of Randy Savage preventing the Rapture
This blog post brought to you by ConAgra Foods, Inc. makers of Slim Jim.
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